Lessons from a Derelict Roommate.

We had a difficult roommate situation a few months back, where we felt our only solution was to invite her to move out.  To say she was furious, would be an understatement, though she must have realized it was a possibility when the following things happened in quick succession:

• She left with four days notice to pursue a "get rich quick" pyramid scheme in another state for a month, and as result, got fired from her jobs.
• She made so many mistakes on her rent check that the landlord couldn't cash it, which we might have thought was an honest mistake, if she hadn't just bounced a $12 check for utilities.
• She scammed her friend out of $500, so we had to deal with said friend when she came knocking at our door to collect the money.  
• And she lied about pretty much anything and everything, including all that listed above.

It was bad; really, really bad.  We couldn't trust her, and we didn't know how many more surprises she had coming down the pipe, so we had no choice but to ask her to leave.  However, I really wished there was an alternative.  It was the beginning of the holiday season, and we didn't know where she would end up.  Was she going to be homeless?  How much debt was this girl dealing with? How was she going to get out from under this mess?

Much to my surprise I recently discovered that she's bounced back quite nicely.  She's back in the area, has a couple of good jobs doing what she loves, and she has a boyfriend.  To be honest, she seems to be doing much better than I am.  I'm sure she'd be surprised to hear me say this, but I'm really happy for her.  I'm glad things worked out.  As I've thought about her situation, I realize I can learn a thing or two from her.

Don't worry, I have no intention of scamming anyone, lying, or joining a pyramid scheme, but there is a lesson to be learned.  Ten months ago this girl wasn't just down on her luck, she was penniless, unemployed, and homeless.   Not only that, but she'd been fired and evicted, which makes it more difficult to get a new job and a new living situation.  But she didn't let those factors keep her back. Nope, she not only only bounced back, she managed to bounce onwards and upwards.

So here are my takeaways from this situation:

1) Let it go.

If you are currently in a less than desirable situation, you could blame your boss, your roommates, or ex.  You could shake your fist at the skies.  Or worst of all, you could emotionally flog yourself for your own stupid idiotic choices.  But at the end of the day, what's done is done.  Regardless for who is responsible, it's up to you make your situation better.  Don't waste your time playing the blame game. Let it go and get to work.

2) Know your passion.

What do you love doing?  What are your best talents?  Combine the answers to those two questions, and figure out a way to capitalize on it and you are golden.

3) Take chances.

I grew up in a risk-adverse family, where major decision-making involved carefully weighing and measuring the probability of success; that meant passing up any opportunity that wasn't darn close to being a sure thing.  My family would argue that it is because they value safety/security above all else, but I wonder if we're actually just secretly terrified of failing.  Perhaps we've unwittingly bestowed krytonite-type superpowers upon "mistakes" and "failure," when in truth the garden variety "failure" or "mistake" will most likely not destroy you.  In fact, after witnessing my roommate's situation, it appears that even really dramatic fall into the "pit of despair" failures don't need to destroy you, and they may even lead you to a better place all the way around.  So go ahead and take some chances, chase a dream, and follow your heart.......just as long as it doesn't involve pyramid schemes, lying, and scamming. :)

Catching A Tune

I'm getting back into writing, and since I'm pretty sure only about 5 people still read my blog, I figure no one will mind if I post a few story kernels from time to time. :)  Here's one I wrote last week.  

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I was within a dream, that much I knew, but the recollection of my waking life was slippery and difficult to grasp, so I let it go.

I was under a canopy of ancient trees filtering the morning sunlight.  The ground was soft and gave slightly as I stepped through the fallen leaves and moss.  There was no path, just a destination.  Ahead of me was a lake or a pond rather, where an old man sat upon a rock by the shore.  In his hands were a series of strings, much like those of a marionette, but attached to something in the water.  He whistled a sorrowful song as he tugged at the strings.

“I wondered when you’d get here,” he said without turning.

I knew him, but I didn’t know how. I tried to say hi, but my words got stuck somewhere between my throat and my lips.

“You ready to try?” he asked. Without waiting for a reply, he took a step back and looped the strings around my fingers.

“The trick is letting the noise slip through.”

Instantly there was tugging on the strings, and my mind was filled with an awful ratchet:  grinding metal, crying children, smoke detectors, howling cats, and the dripping of a leaky faucet.  I tried prying my fingers free from the strings, but the noise only increased with the addition of car alarms, sirens, gun fire, and helicopters.   

“It’ll help if you have something in mind,” the old man said as he placed his hands over mine.

He whistled his sorrowful song again, and gently tugged on each of the strings in turn.  The noise slipped away and was replaced by a stuccoes percussion of tapping wood, followed by a low melancholy hum and a soft garbling of a bird.  He tugged on another string and a sound that can only be described as the gentle flapping of an angel’s wings in a spring shower filled my mind.  It resonated and echoed through every hollow and cavernous space in my soul.  It was a sound that was felt more than heard, and it awoke so many emotions and sensations in my heart that I was overcome with dizziness. Then one by one the old man, let the strings fall slack, and each of the sounds were silenced.

“The trick is letting the noise slip through,” he said again.

Using his thumb, he wiped the tears that I hadn’t noticed on my cheek. 

“Your turn love,” he said with a smile.

I hung my head and shrugged.

“You’ve always had a lovely song.  Why don’t you start there?”

So I started to hum a simple melody I’d known since I was young, and one by one I tugged the strings, making sure to let the noise slip through.