Dirty Ducks

6:30 AM:
I wake up to what sounds like Donald Duck cussing someone out. I put my pillow over my ears and try to go back to sleep.

6:35 AM:
The noise continues. I get out of bed and look out the window. A couple ducks are getting busy in my neighbor's pool. I silently berate myself for not investing in a pellet gun, and attempt to go back to bed.

6:41 AM:
Noise gets louder. I look out the window again. The male duck is attempting to drown the female duck. I briefly considered Darwin's theory of natural selection, and how the duck--as a species--is better off if stupid ducks who can't figure out how to procreate, don't.

6:42 AM:
I hear my roommates in the common room yelling at the ducks from the balcony. I exit my room in time to see my roommate go out the front door. I go to the balcony, and realize there are actually 3 ducks, a female and male who are trying to mate and another male who is trying to drown them both.

6:44 AM:
My roommate somehow gains access to the pool enclosure to shoo the birds. The homicidal duck flies to the top of our roof and continues to squawk, while the mating couple move to the far end of the pool.

6:48 AM:
My roommate returns to the apartment, where no one is going back to sleep because we now have Donald Duck in surround sound.

6:50 AM
The homicidal duck rejoins the mating pair and continues to try to kill them both. My roommate's husband goes out to put a stop to the fighting. The mating male duck chases away the homicidal duck before the roommate's husband can stage an intervention. I go back to my bedroom.

6:55 AM
I look out my bedroom window to see my roommate's husband in the pool enclosure attempting to feed the ducks bread crumbs. For some reason the ducks aren't interested in the bread......Gee, I wonder why.

6:56 AM:
I put on my running shoes and went for a run with the hopes that the whole thing is resolved by the time I get home so I can go back to bed.

8:00 AM:
I return home after my run. The ducks are gone. My roommates are gone. All is quiet, but I can't go back to sleep. And that my friend is why I'm writing this blog post right now, and why I have a grievance against dirty ducks.

Biggest Loser - Salt Lake

Yo Utah peeps. I don't know if any of y'all might be interested but the biggest loser is coming to Salt Lake City for casting. I just thought I'd pass the info along.

The Utah Film Commission would like to pass on this information from
NBC's "The Biggest Loser."

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Utah Film Commission,

We are going to be coming to Salt Lake City, Utah on March 20th
and wanted to let the community know about this event. I have attached
the official casting flyer.

When: Saturday, March 20th 10:00am to 5:00pm
Where: NBC Studios 55 North 300 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84180

● Please do not line up more than 3 hours before the open call start
time, please also bring a NON RETURNABLE photo as well
●We will do our best to see the first 500 people in line
●If you cannot attend an open call you may submit a videotape
●You must be at least 18 years old by May 24th, 2010

Thank you,

-- DJ

D.J. Feldman
Casting Director
The Biggest Loser (Season 10 - NBC)
http://www.youtube.com/user/BucksNRoses