As deadlines flashed before my eyes and little or no progress had been made on my projects, I decided something must be done to get my chronic procrastination under control. I needed help, but my measily bank account could not afford me regular visits to a psychologist, a life-coach, or even extra phone calls home. So I did what 1,000's--perhaps millions--of Americans do when they realize their life is out of control, I went to the self-help section of the bookstore.
Simply stepping into that section is an accomplishment for me. Why can't they organize these books by topic instead of author? I feel so inadequate as I search through the titles "Goodbye to Shy," "One Small Step Can Change Your Life," " The Surrendered Single," "Master Your Anxiety," "Challenging the Artist Within," and "The Manual." I suddenly can't breath. My heartbeat is racing. Do I need help with dating? Am I shy? Do I have an artist within? Where's my mommy? I need my blankie!! Aaahahahahahahaahaaaaaaaahahahahahhahahah.........
Once I got a grip of my sanity, I refocused on the goal at hand: procrastination. Searching high and low, avoiding all the relationship blah-blah books, I finally found three with promise. My favorite is the "The 60 Second Procrastinator." Designed for the procrastinator with ADHD, you don't need to read it straight through. It gives you 60 practical tools (3-4 pages each) for combating procrastination. The second book is "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway." It looks like a good book, but I'll need to use some tips from the first book to help me read this one through to completion. The third book is called "A Year to Live." It's a great concept--spend one year as if it is the last year of your life. I predict that in five years, when I look at the book still sitting unread on my bookcase, I will probably consider reading it.
Two hours after my arrival, I paid $50 for all my books and left the store. As I waited for the subway I pulled out "The 60 Second Procrastinator" to see what wisdom it would impart. I opened to #18 Minimize Distractions. That's when it hit me. I had just wasted a whole lot of time and money procrastinating my projects because I was distracted by searching for ways to avoid procrastinating. You know I may want to reconsider investing in a good psychologist. ;)
Monday, December 17, 2007
Monday, December 3, 2007
Talk to Strangers
How does one talk to strangers?
It is strange that children can so easily engage any J-random person they see in the store, on the playground, or at a bus stop? Yet as adults, we can stand face to face with someone on the subway and will do everything possible to avert making eye contact, let alone strike up a conversation.
I pondered this as I stood on the subway this morning, 3-inches away from the person in front of me. He was an attractive stranger, the man with whom I shared my personal space on the packed train. Avoiding direct eye contact, I studied his reflection in the opposite window. He had a kind face. Perhaps he would willing chat with me on my way to work, if only I would open my mouth and speak. But what would I say?
"Lousy weather we're having."
"Are you on your way to work?"
"So I noticed you don't have a wedding ring. Do you have a girlfriend?"
I racked my brain for something to say. I thought perhaps I could eavesdrop a good conversation starter from those around me, but no one was speaking. Those who were not absorbed in their morning papers were all staring the ads on the walls, rereading the same slogan 15 times over.
Another two stops have gone by. If I don't say anything now, my ride will be over and I'll never see him again. If only he carried a book or something I could comment about: a dog, a bike, or even a cool umbrella. So there I stood with this man, with whom I would very much like to speak, yet I remained completely silent.
What do you think he's thinking? Do you suppose he is hoping I'll break the ice or is he preoccupied by upcoming important meeting? That's when I begin to make excuses. He probably has other things on his mind than chatting on the train. I only have 2 stops left, what sort of conversation could we possibly have now? Instead I compose a text message on my phone and then read the paper that another passenger is holding at just the right angle.
As my ride ends, the stranger and I go in opposite directions, and I kicked myself all the way to work.
It is strange that children can so easily engage any J-random person they see in the store, on the playground, or at a bus stop? Yet as adults, we can stand face to face with someone on the subway and will do everything possible to avert making eye contact, let alone strike up a conversation.
I pondered this as I stood on the subway this morning, 3-inches away from the person in front of me. He was an attractive stranger, the man with whom I shared my personal space on the packed train. Avoiding direct eye contact, I studied his reflection in the opposite window. He had a kind face. Perhaps he would willing chat with me on my way to work, if only I would open my mouth and speak. But what would I say?
"Lousy weather we're having."
"Are you on your way to work?"
"So I noticed you don't have a wedding ring. Do you have a girlfriend?"
I racked my brain for something to say. I thought perhaps I could eavesdrop a good conversation starter from those around me, but no one was speaking. Those who were not absorbed in their morning papers were all staring the ads on the walls, rereading the same slogan 15 times over.
Another two stops have gone by. If I don't say anything now, my ride will be over and I'll never see him again. If only he carried a book or something I could comment about: a dog, a bike, or even a cool umbrella. So there I stood with this man, with whom I would very much like to speak, yet I remained completely silent.
What do you think he's thinking? Do you suppose he is hoping I'll break the ice or is he preoccupied by upcoming important meeting? That's when I begin to make excuses. He probably has other things on his mind than chatting on the train. I only have 2 stops left, what sort of conversation could we possibly have now? Instead I compose a text message on my phone and then read the paper that another passenger is holding at just the right angle.
As my ride ends, the stranger and I go in opposite directions, and I kicked myself all the way to work.
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