Talk to Strangers

How does one talk to strangers?

It is strange that children can so easily engage any J-random person they see in the store, on the playground, or at a bus stop? Yet as adults, we can stand face to face with someone on the subway and will do everything possible to avert making eye contact, let alone strike up a conversation.

I pondered this as I stood on the subway this morning, 3-inches away from the person in front of me. He was an attractive stranger, the man with whom I shared my personal space on the packed train. Avoiding direct eye contact, I studied his reflection in the opposite window. He had a kind face. Perhaps he would willing chat with me on my way to work, if only I would open my mouth and speak. But what would I say?
"Lousy weather we're having."
"Are you on your way to work?"
"So I noticed you don't have a wedding ring. Do you have a girlfriend?"

I racked my brain for something to say. I thought perhaps I could eavesdrop a good conversation starter from those around me, but no one was speaking. Those who were not absorbed in their morning papers were all staring the ads on the walls, rereading the same slogan 15 times over.

Another two stops have gone by. If I don't say anything now, my ride will be over and I'll never see him again. If only he carried a book or something I could comment about: a dog, a bike, or even a cool umbrella. So there I stood with this man, with whom I would very much like to speak, yet I remained completely silent.

What do you think he's thinking? Do you suppose he is hoping I'll break the ice or is he preoccupied by upcoming important meeting? That's when I begin to make excuses. He probably has other things on his mind than chatting on the train. I only have 2 stops left, what sort of conversation could we possibly have now? Instead I compose a text message on my phone and then read the paper that another passenger is holding at just the right angle.

As my ride ends, the stranger and I go in opposite directions, and I kicked myself all the way to work.