I've been single a long time, all my life in fact, and I have to admit I've grown baffled by how marriage happens. When I was a kid is seemed very simple, but now it seems ridiculously difficult. Another single friend put it this way, "Every marriage is a miracle, especially if it lasts." How does it work? How do two very different people find each other, fall in love, and get married? I am also baffled by my own desire to get married. I've lived this long without a husband, surely I'll be fine if I don't get married. Yet, there's no denying the fact I would very much like to get married, and I don't really have an explanation for it. So now I have a rare opportunity provided to a single adult in the US--I get to see a new marriage up close and personal at home. I figure there are three possible outcomes:
- 1) I will grow to understand how and why marriages happen, and perhaps even understand my own desire for one.
- 2) I will discover that living with a married couple curbs my interest in marriage, much like how babysitting can be excellent birth control.
- 3) I will remain just as mystified by marriage as ever.
I can tell you it's facsinating watching them blend households. Based on my observations I'd recommend a couple move into a new place that is brand new to them both instead of trying to figure out how to fit another person into a space previously occupied by just one person. There's also all the gifts to consider. Where in the world do you put the new mixer, breadmaker, hot cocoa maker, and new dishes into a tiny kitchen that's already well-stocked (i.e. cramped)? You definitely need a new place for a new start, unless one of you owns a house. If that's the case, what a great opportunity to start problem solving together by figuring out what stuff needs to be thrown out from both your households. :)
P.S. Jack and Jill gave me permission to blog about them. Infact they suggested it, sort of.
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4 comments:
i think there's a possible 4th outcome: justifiable homicide. but that's just me.
And that's just one of many reasons why you don't find yourself in my situation. :)
I think your advice to move into a new place together is very wise. Jason and I have been married for a little more than 2 years and it's still an ongoing battle to figure out where all our stuff should go. He did make room for me (kind of) and he has gotten better about actually getting rid of things, but he still has a lot of stuff (lets be frank. A lot of junk) that drives me completely insane if I think about it too much. I think moving him prior to the wedding would have necessitated a grand purge of crap.
However, the rent is cheap, the place is nice, we have a fireplace. There were many good reasons to stay put. As much as I hate moving, I'm actually kind of looking forward to our next move because I know we will be getting rid of large piles of stuff.
i'm questioning my sanity even remotely when I think about moving into an already existing situation even if that situation is a 4000sq ft house. what if there is no room for my stuff? ;)
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