The Wonders of LASIK

Such a wonderful thing to be able to see with my own eyes again.  I’m now on Day 8 of my post-op and I have to say it’s kind of amazing.  I can see everything so clearly.  I still feel a little pain from time to time, but it’s manageable.  That said, I just wish someone would have told me a few things I should have had on hand for afterwards.

1)    A big box of tissues for the ride home. 

Your cornea is connected to your eyeball.  Your eyeball is connected to your tear duct.  Your tear duct is connected to your nose duct......or something like that.  Basically when the tears start flowing, the nose starts running.  While you most likely won’t be sobbing after the surgery, you have just had a very invasive procedure on your eyes and your tear ducts will be on overdrive, which means (at least in my case) your nose will be as well.   So unless you like using you shirt as a Kleenex (I will neither confirm nor deny I did this), you’ll want to have a ready supply on hand.

2)    Bring a big thick blindfold or better yet an ostrichpillow.

Everyone said I’d be sensitive to light. Nobody told me that I’d border on vampire abhorrence of sunlight.  On the ride home, I was wearing double sets of sunglasses, and I was still trying to bury my face in my lap while mumbling, "It burns. It burns."

3)    Less sticky medical tape 

After the procedure is over, you’ll need to wear these plastic shields over your eyes at night to prevent you from rubbing your eyes in your sleep. The shields are fine, but the tape they used leaves behind this gunky stickiness that is impossible to wash, rub, and scrub off; I tried every substance short of battery acid to remove it to no avail.  Now imagine having to use that tape every single night for month.  No bueno.  So I went to the store and found some medical paper tape that isn’t quite as sticky, but not nearly as gunky either.  Though it does require a little extra tape to get the job done, so you may end up looking like this each night:

4)  Sleeping pills that work

After the procedure, they want you to go right home and sleep for five hours at a minimum.  As the anesthetic eye drops wears off, there will be pain, and it's better if you can sleep through that.  They gave me one valium for the procedure; it is what my grandma would have called a "don't give a $hit pill," and it worked pretty well for that.  I was feeling pretty good about the world, and I had zero anxiety going into the procedure.  As I left the office, they handed me two Valium for when I got home, and in theory I'd go right to sleep.  Unfortunately it turns out that taking more valium does not make me sleep, but it does lead to behaving very drunk; the only thing I really remember from that time is that my eyes hurt.  If you got a phone call from me that evening, I apologize for anything I may have said.  So the moral of the story is that there are several safe sleeping pills available, ask your doctor if you can get a prescription for a couple of them beforehand to see what works for you, then take that after the procedure.

So there are my thoughts on LASIK.  Overall I was very satisfied with the procedure and I love the fact I can see without any sort assistance.  I'm going to try swimming today.  Wish me luck.  :)