I have 3 or 4 baby name books. No, I’m not pregnant. There’s just something I find fascinating about names and their meanings so I collect name books, my favorite being a reverse name dictionary where it is arranged by meaning instead of name.
One day while flipping through the book I decided to play a game. I closed my eyes, opened the book randomly, pointed to a name, and that would be the name of the man I will marry. I nearly died with laughter when I opened my eyes and saw the name under my finger. It was that of my current and frustratingly persistent crush. Let’s call him Frog.
Frog is not a realistic option for me, so I set about debunking this fortune-telling fluke. First I played a round of MASH, a game normally played by elementary school children to predict their spouse, type of home, number of kids, and car they will have the future. Although it didn’t have me married to Frog (thank goodness), it had me married to a former crush living in a shack with 7 kids yet somehow we could afford a BMW. Obviously MASH lacked validity
So then I decided to visit the dictionary to play a variation of the game that got me into this whole fortune-telling mess. Here you ask the dictionary a question, close your eyes, open the dictionary randomly and point at a word. You do this three times and that should somehow answer your question. I decided to do some test runs first.
What is the meaning of life?
Answer: Jock, disdain, offseason.
Describe my personality:
Answer: fun, Shaker, circumnavigate
Describe my next love:
Answer: prove, patient, capitalize
I didn’t bother asking the dictionary about Frog since its answers weren’t making any sense, so I resorted to the Magic 8 ball.
Will I marry (name of a different boy I find mildly amusing)?
Answer: Maybe
Will I marry Frog?
Answer: Absolutely
Will Frog and I be happy together?
Answer: Absolutely
Still unwilling to succumb to my fate of marrying Frog, I returned to the name dictionary and tried the fortune-telling one more time. I closed my eyes.....................
opened the book randomly,...............
pointed to a name,....................
and the name was.....................
Norbert
(aka not Frog)
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