The Resume

Ode to the Resume
(to the little piece of paper that stands between me and an interview )

Oh how I hate you, let me count the ways
Mere black ink on white space
The magic of power verbs and buzzwords
Open doors or kick you in the pants.

Be more specific, more succinct, more applicable
Simply be perfect and then maybe
you'll have a chance.

I'm soooooo tired of writing and rewriting my resume. It has way too much power you know. It's like a picture placed in a personal ad, if the it doesn't immediately catch a person's attention then then gig is up, and you'll never get the chance to prove your worth.

But what can you do? Lying is completely unacceptable. Using "pretty" paper or a fancy font, will only get you laughed at. So you analyze the job description for which you are applying, and compare it to your resume. Perhaps you change some buzzwords, remove a bullet point or two replacing them with something more appropriate, or in rare cases, change the format completely. Whatever the modifications, you do your best to make it "perfect" and then you send it on. Of course you must also include a cover letter (another creature of contempt). Then you pray that this time you've got it right, but you don't bank on it. Instead you start the process over again with the next job description.

Blessed With Work

I have found that being unemployed is a rather heavy burden. It drags you into a pit of misery and, in economic time like these, the pit is filled to capacity making it hard to see a way out. That was the condition I found myself during the last few months. Fortunately a blessing fell from the sky this week, and I got a 6 week temp job as a receptionist at a software company.

Already they love me. In fact I could sit like a rock all day long, never moving, and they would still love me. You see by doing nothing, I am NOT stealing. Their last temp robbed them blind. She took home boxes of paper, tape, Advil, mugs, bags, candy, Splenda, and she may have tried to take the kitchen sink. I've never met this woman, but after having been faced with the dearth of job opportunities out there right now, I want to smack her upside the head and say, "Are you crazy?"

Here she was in a temp job that pays a decent wage, and she threw it all away because she chose to lug home large amounts of office supplies. What is the benefit of that? Even if she sold all that stuff on eBay, could she possibly make more than she her promised salary? Me thinks not.

But perhaps I should think twice before bad-mouthing this poor woman. After all it is because of her blatant lack of good judgement that I have this opportunity to be blessed with work. So crazy woman, wherever you all, I thank you. And God, thank you for blessing me with work.

Employment Benefits

There are definitely reasons to like my place of employment (the large beige building in the left corner).

1. Sweet View for Red Sox and Patriots Parades.

Whenever a Boston team wins a national/world championship, they put the athletes on boat-car hybrids called Duck Boats and drive them around town so we can all share in the excitement of the win and prevent the need for riots. ;)

The best part is that these parades go right in front of my building, and I can get some great pictures without braving the crowds.

View from the roof.

View from atop my co-workers desk.

I took 132 pictures in all so I'd prefer to not post them all here, but you can check out the album on snapfish:

www1.snapfish.com/share/p=676311193844098631/l=317249732/g=16664672/otsc=SYE/otsi=SALB

2. The View From My Desk.

Not only do I have a window, I have a window with a sweet view. Sunsets like this make working late a little more tolerable.

3. Movies

A film titled Bachelor No. 2 filmed a scene in the 6th floor of my building a couple months ago. Dane Cook and Alec Baldwin were there. I had hoped that my being the assistant to the person who gave them the okay to film would provide with more than a 5-second glimpse of Alec, but alas it was not to be.

Since I couldn't get a picture with the stars, I got a picture of the chairs that are occasionally occupied by the people who tell the stars what to do. (please note that Mike Elliot is the cutie producer)


And some entertaining signage:


4. Miscellaneous Benefits

There are loads of other cools things from my job like free lunches, free Diet Coke, free advice, but I'm afraid those aren't nearly as photogenic. ;)

My Student Films

I've recently heard some grumblings that some of my friends have either never seen my student films or cannot watch them whenever the mood strikes you.

To allay your grievances, I have uploaded two of them to Youtube for your viewing pleasure. I would have done this sooner, but some of the soundtrack is not "technically" legal. Something about needing permission for copyrighted music, so there's a possibility that they won't be up for very long. If you like the films, you may want to use a nifty program like "TubeSock" so you can save the films to your computer just in case Youtube decides to get persnickety about the rules.

Anywho, this first film is called "My Fake Job." It was my first attempt at making a film. I co-wrote, co-directed, co-produced, co-starred, and co-edited it with three other students. I'd say it's pretty good for a first attempt and a collaboration. And of course everything you like in the film was my idea, and anything you don't like, that was someone else's idea. ;)

This second movie is called "Chocolate Therapy." I wrote the script entirely by myself which might explain why it's a little odd. ;)