Evil Sticky Tree

My street is lined with trees, which to the casual onlooker appears to provide shade and beauty to the neighborhood. However, those of us that must park our cars on this street can tell you that these trees are pure evil. In fact I call them the Evil Sticky Trees.

All summer long a fine sprinkling of stickiness fell from the leaves, coating anything and everything underneath with a layer of honey-like substance. If you happened to leave your car under one of these trees for a day or two you may discover it difficult to see through the windows.



And if you leave it under a tree for a week or more, you may have trouble opening the door because your car is completely covered from hood to trunk with icky, sticky, grossness.



For awhile I held the opinion that these trees were in actuality carnivorous plants. In their natural habitat, they drip their venom upon passing creatures, pinning them to the ground. I figured the venom also contained some sort of digestive enzyme (evidenced by my car's ruined paint job) which would break their prey down into vital nutrients that could then be absorbed into the tree's root system.

A pretty good theory if I do say so myself. If I hadn't wanted to know when the stickiness would end, I probably would have let it go at that, but no, I had to dig a little deeper. As it turns out these are Linden trees, and........


...they are not carnivorous.:( According to treehelp.com these trees are often "plagued by aphids." The aphids suck the trees sap and excrete "a clear, sweet, sticky substance known as "honeydew." So guess what my friends, my car has been smothered in disgusting bug excrement, poop, crap, feces, etc. I think I liked the venom idea better.