New Bugs

This is a roach

I show you this picture I took because prior to tonight I didn't know what one looked like. In fact, when I saw it on my wall I thought, "Wow, that's a REALLY big beatle." I then looked at it again, and thought, "Could that be a cockroach? Of course not, they only get that big in more tropical locations like.........southern California." After giving myself the "duh" slap to my forehead, I tried to figure out what to do next.

Do I need to kill it some special way? Will it crunch when I kill it? And most importantly, will it retaliate if I miss it the first time?

So I sent a text messages to some of my friends to which I received the following suggestions:

• - Call a Man
• - Use a giant shoe
  
• - Try a nuclear bomb
  
• - Tell it depressing stories and wait

Since I couldn't wait for a man to get here, I decided to try the shoe option. First I built a barracade in case it could fly and attack, and then I went for the kill. I hit it once and again and again and again. It took a good 10 hits to stop it from moving, and then I waited.

I'd heard they were hard to kill, so I certainly wasn't going to take its lifeless body as proof that it was dead. Instead I stared at it awhile. Sure enough a few minutes later it got up, and started to run, so I beat it again. After the 5th time of beating it death, only to have it jump up and run away, I decided it as time to look for a nuclear bomb or more appropriately a poisonous substance. I scoured the cupboards looking for something like Windex, tub/tile cleaner, or Diet Coke, but to my wondrous surprise I found a can of Raid. As quick as can be, I doused the creature with Raid. All it's little legs spasmed, and then it stopped. Now I was sure it was dead.....until it's legs started to move again, and I doused again. This was the end result:


Before the assault, he was about 2 quarters long, after the beating it was roughly the size of one quarter. What do you think? Is he coming back to life anytime soon? Perhaps I should go ahead an try the last piece of advice from my friends and tell it depressing stories and wait. :)

Who Let the Bugs Out?

It is no secret that I tend to dislike any creature that has more than 4 leg. It is also well know that my distress to said animals increases with the number and length of the legs. So just imagine my response to a monster like this one which I found in my bathroom late, late, last night.

If you think it's ugly now, just imagine what it looked like after being repeatedly beaten with a sandal.

I wish I could say that I'd never before seen such a creature in my bathroom, but I cannot.

The first time was after I heard the blood-curtly screams of my roommate coming from the bathroom. She had seen the monster right before it scurried into a crack in the molding.

Since it still had a leg or two poking out, I knew exactly where it was. Grabbing a can of pressurized air, I gave it a little spritz which sent it airborne.

I'm used to bugs immediately dropping to the floor when disengaged from the wall thus facilitating easy squooshing. However, this monster's legs increased the air resistance so it drifted like a feather through the air landing gracefully into the garbage can. After quickly tying off the bag and dropping it outside, I couldn't stop laughing. The little creature had thrown itself away.

Too bad last nights visitor, wasn't quite so kind.