Viruses Among Us

Viruses -- those mean, vicious, dirty, stubborn, annoying organisms that wreck havoc upon their unsuspecting victims-- have attempted to break down my best defenses.

I am of course referring the microscopic variety, not to be confused with the plush version.

(available at thinkgeek.com. This is my favorite.)

Nor am I referencing the kind which can be seen walking upright on two legs. (Sorry no examples. I've found that taking a picture of this one insures it will follow you around for good two weeks.)

The microscopic bugger that's got me in it's cross-hairs has yet to be identified. Is it the flu, cold, or influenza? I don't know yet. And where is it from? Also unknown. It could have been my coworker, my roommate, a friend, or that weirdo on the subway who kept sneezing on me.

Regardless, it's just me against the disease now, and I'm bulking up on my arsenal. I've got nasal sprays, decongestants, airborne tablets, ibuprophen, orange juice, zinc chews, and really anything else the clerk at the store is willing to sell me.

Sales Clerk 1: My mom says that eating pretzels knocks out a cold. *
Sales Clerk 2: Try eating an entire canister of tootsie rolls.*
Sales Clerk 3: This one always works. If you chew on this doggy treat for three days, there's no way that cold will stick around. *

(* comments do not accurately reflect real sales clerk suggestions and are included for comedic effect only. I have NEVER eaten a doggy treat, really I haven't. I swear. ;) )

So far so good. Other than a serious headache about every 10 hours when I need to take another decongestant, I haven't developed any additional symptoms, so here's hoping I can out last the virus siege. But just to be on the safe side, perhaps I should look into buying some of those doggy treats................or perhaps I should consider visiting my doctor.