This is a roach
I show you this picture I took because prior to tonight I didn't know what one looked like. In fact, when I saw it on my wall I thought, "Wow, that's a REALLY big beatle." I then looked at it again, and thought, "Could that be a cockroach? Of course not, they only get that big in more tropical locations like.........southern California." After giving myself the "duh" slap to my forehead, I tried to figure out what to do next.
Do I need to kill it some special way? Will it crunch when I kill it? And most importantly, will it retaliate if I miss it the first time?
So I sent a text messages to some of my friends to which I received the following suggestions:
- - Call a Man
- - Use a giant shoe
- - Try a nuclear bomb
- - Tell it depressing stories and wait
I'd heard they were hard to kill, so I certainly wasn't going to take its lifeless body as proof that it was dead. Instead I stared at it awhile. Sure enough a few minutes later it got up, and started to run, so I beat it again. After the 5th time of beating it death, only to have it jump up and run away, I decided it as time to look for a nuclear bomb or more appropriately a poisonous substance. I scoured the cupboards looking for something like Windex, tub/tile cleaner, or Diet Coke, but to my wondrous surprise I found a can of Raid. As quick as can be, I doused the creature with Raid. All it's little legs spasmed, and then it stopped. Now I was sure it was dead.....until it's legs started to move again, and I doused again. This was the end result:
Before the assault, he was about 2 quarters long, after the beating it was roughly the size of one quarter. What do you think? Is he coming back to life anytime soon? Perhaps I should go ahead an try the last piece of advice from my friends and tell it depressing stories and wait. :)
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9 comments:
man that ain't cool. I don't like them when they're little. That is so completely no ok.
You are braver than me. I would have run away the first time it came back to life.
Of course, where I grew up (Tucson), roaches are 3-5 inches long and they fly. Good times.
I'm glad I could share my words of wisdom with you... <3 having you here to share in the experiences with you.
Wow, I have yet to see a roach that big here. There is probably one waiting in the kitchen to surprise me right now. It's good to know that they are nearly invincible.
Oh yeah! Welcome to the southern United States--you're official now that you've had a roach in your house!
I saw another one today. Fortunately it was dead and not inside my apartment. Ugh, I hate these things, maybe I should rethink this move to a warmer climate. My roommate tells me that these things CAN and DO fly.
this is why i'll stick to the north, as tempted as i may be to move south sometimes. nyc it is!
Nothing says happy holidays like freshly baked cookies!
Harry Potter's Cockroach Clusters
A Hogwart's Special!
30 -35 pieces
Ingredients
12 ounces chocolate chips
1 cup raisins
2 cups cockroaches, broken into 1 inch pieces
1/4 cup chocolate sprinkles
Directions
1 In a microwave safe bowl heat chocolate until JUST melted.
2 Remove and stir in the raisins and insect pieces.
3 Drop by T's onto waxed paper and sprinkle with chocolate jimmies.
4 Let stand until firm.
These things are ALL OVER Hawaii. At least your first encounter with one was on a wall and in your house. Mine was in Jamison's car... while we were driving... and on my face.
I have found the easiest way to kill the things is a mix of raid and hairspray. Ya know... the really awesome aerosol hairspray. You spray around their legs and body and it makes it so they cant fly or move (if you spray it enough). And then douse with raid.... put newspaper underneath and squish (Preferably sideways... )
:) Disclaimer : Do not do this if the roach is on your body. It kind of hurts and raid gives you a rash.
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